CONS:

• Sam Neill is in it. If you’ve spoken to me in person within the last month, you’ll know why I am very angry at Sam Neill right now. Here’s a hint.

(Goddammit. I watched that trailer to check if it was the right one, AND NOW I AM SUPER ANGRY ALL OVER AGAIN. I hate that movie. HAAATE. No I don’t understand it AND I DON’T WANT TO. NO, JURASSIC PARK DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT.)

—cut to: 15 minutes later, with dishes broken, tables flipped and babies punched in the faces

So where was I?

Oh, right, Alcatraz.

CONS:

• Sam Neill
• That guy from Lost. Iiiii don’t know. I didn’t watch Lost because, you know, I hate shit set in dirty places where the actors are always clean.
• I’ve never seen a JJ Abrams series all the way through. I used to be really into Alias, but heavens, that Sydnew Bristow gasped and panted so much through the whole thing, I didn’t know if she was tired or turned on from all that escaping.

PROS:

• The little Madsen cop is kind of cute in a butchy sort of way. But man she gets angry a lot. I wish she would chill out.
• The premise is kind of interesting, although I’m still suspicious of a forthcoming explanation that is absolutely shite.
• The detective from my sexy cop drama, Rookie Blue, was one of the prisoners. I like that guy. In a pretty bird-y sort of way.
• I’m not proud of this, but it’s kind of exciting for me to see Vancouver set as San Francisco. They film near my apartment.

There isn’t much to go on, but I’ve got an eye on it. I’m not constantly waiting for it, like I am for The Good Wife, but I like that it’s around. At least I don’t get a queasy feeling in my bottom when it’s mentioned, like I did for when the following shows came out:

• The Big Bang Theory (ugh)
• Hot in Cleveland (come on)
• Shit My Dad Says (JEZZAZ)
• 2 Broke Girls (the canned laugher actually seems even louder in this one)
• The New Girl (bitch please)

The list continues, but sadly, I’ve already thrown up in my shirt a couple of times just thinking about those shows.

I was supposed to be at a party by the time I was halfway through watching this film. But I couldn’t peel my banana-eyes away from this beauty of a documentary.

What a great account of one of the weirdest literary figures in American history.

Gonzo follows the life and career of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson as he goes from an unknown journalist for Rolling Stone Magazine to becoming one of the most exciting political voices in the 1970s, and later, the legacy he leaves behind after he commits suicide in 2005.

To me it was partly a study of what happens when one encounters fame, and the shortfalls that beset a person once that name becomes recognizable from a distance. The film touches on one of the things that fascinate me the most, and that is accountability for being interesting in a public arena.

He wrote his best work when nobody knew who the hell he was, and he was free to write honestly without hesitation because of that. Partnered with his assignment to be a political correspondent for Rolling Stone Magazine during the presidential elections in the early 70s, this guy was a lunatic firecracker with a pen. He got into trouble for his opinions, as most people do, but he somehow became an even more extraordinary figure because of it.

Accountability becomes the scary part, as once others start challenging and questioning your work, it becomes not only a mission to prove its worth, but your character’s as well. There is always a tension that happens when someone so interesting/controversial/peculiar goes through the gauntlet. Most look like idiots (thanks, Jon Stewart & Gang), but some come out like fucking splendid gladiators.

He was a true “free lance,” in the sense that he was an angry man willing to gore every sacred cow in his path. So he was fearless — he went after people, and he did so with a wicked sense of humor that everybody appreciated. At the same time I think he had his finger so much on the pulse of the American character — both what makes it great and what makes it horrible. He understood the tremendous idealism in America, and he always wore his heart on his sleeve. At the same time, he always understood the deep fear and loathing, as Hunter would have put it, at the heart of this society. —Alex Gibney on The Reeler

It becomes a test of a person’s wit, grace, style and intelligence, really, and I think that’s why it’s so interesting to me. Throughout his career built on harsh words, cut-off shorts, vices and guns, Thompson somehow kept the same spirit as he aged. If not from his work (which suffered after he failed to cover the “Rumble in the Jungle” fight with Ali  and Foreman), then from the people who remember him so fondly and so well. He seemed so well-loved and well-regarded, that it really became a matter of being an impressive person rather than just an impressive writer.

While some people don’t last as long, or really, live as long, Thompson blew through the 70s through the 90s like a champ. Gibney intersperses the movie with soundbytes and recordings of Thompson’s work, which was a fucking blast of confused statements intertwined with very astute questions. He was a real poet, this guy, and such a pleasure to learn about.

I’ve yet to have the experience of reading his work as a whole, much like how I only know bits and bytes of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (that movie is so much harder to fucking find than you think). However, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson has always been in my list of to-read-before-go-blind-okay-maybe-if-a-James-Earl-Jones-audiobook-came-out.

—I’ll insert a defensive note here, to mention that I’m quite a slow reader and my reading list is hefty. While some have the wonderful ability to immerse themselves in books for hours, I’ve unfortunately inherited my generation’s attention span of the most minuscule proportions. I’m working on it!

PS. The soundtrack is also amazeballs.

I thought about how friendly and fun he is, and how he’s just such a nice guy, there to help. A little silly at times, but always reliable!

The main point in which Rath talks about is the idea that we spend so much of our time—whether at work or at home—honing in on our faults & weaknesses, when we could be devoting that time to actually developing our strengths.

Secondary to that, the idea of strength in collaboration was discussed in an interesting way. The idea isn’t so much as gaining strength by numbers, but by complimenting different facets of your group to create a stronger whole.

The book comes with a test that takes about half an hour to complete, and spits out something similar to a horoscope or your traits. I’ve done a similar test in the past, but that one was more concerned about my personality type rather than my work process. It said that I become more dominant during stressful situations, and that I daydream a lot.

Strengths Finder defines traits that I am naturally inclined to have, and with a little more effort, could be developed into what I’m assuming will be a bionic woman’s version of my strengths. Then I can start killing people and take over the world. Yes…

It lists your top five talents or qualities. I wasn’t overly surprised at the outcome:

Learner
People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.
read: I don’t care what comes out of this. I just want to try it. Eating paste optional.

Input
People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.
read: Ginger tends to be a hoarder. 

Intellection
People who are especially talented in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.
read: I stare at walls and empty spaces a lot.

Ideation
People who are especially talented in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.
read: A roll-on deodorant maintains the exact same mechanics as a ball-point pen. 

Individualization
People who are especially talented in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
read: I can schmooze like a football jock pretending to be sensitive and caring on prom night. 

But I’ve been quite curious about her lately, and thank goodness for TCM’s 31 Days of Oscar! I’ve always wanted to see Funny Girl in its entirety, as I’ve always only managed to get to the part where Nicky shows up. Call it fate, because it sounds more dramatic that way, but I’ve never managed to finish the movie until recently.

Man, Ms. Streissand is cute.

My dad, film collector, is not a fan of Barbra Streissand. So while I had access to his vast collection of racist cowboy Lone Ranger series and every sexy Elvis film in the 60s, this little songbird always managed to slip from my grasp. I’d only have the luxury of seeing glimpses of her on TCM, if I were so lucky.

I think it’s because my dad always thought she was kind of frumpy, which was kind of her thing anyway. Especially in her later films.

I don’t think it was until I saw The Mirror Has Two Faces a couple of years ago that I began to really consider what this lady was about. Side note, I first saw The Mirror Has Two Faces way too young. Similar reaction (or lackthereof) to Love Story. It’s not disrespectful—kids are just idiots sometimes.

Oh, those days when Jeff Bridges still looked like this.

Anyway, Funny Girl. What a great film. I’m a sucker for large theatrical productions, so that’s already in the bag. Ziegfeld Follies weee! But the nice surprise was Omar Sharif. I’ve never seen him in anything else.

(No, I don’t want to watch Lawrence of Arabia right now.)

What a gent. Is it the accent? The moustache du jour? Well, a little bit. But you’ll see how being with Fanny, despite how much he loves her, becomes unbearable as they start drifting apart in each of their own careers/successes/failures. Oh, it’s SO SAD.

Aww...

But it’s just a simple story of what could happen when one person can’t keep up with the other. It’s not about how much you love a person, but the other garbage that comes along with it, like pride and success, and what other people expect from you. It’s so sweet, and I don’t think anyone could have done a better job than Barbra or Omar. It’s one of those films that cannot be remade, or should be, really.

The Glee renditions are painful enough. Let’s leave it at that.

Great songs, great comedy, lovely actors all around. And the very last song Fanny Brice sings, right after she sees Nicky again after eighteen months in prison. Oh, that’s love, alright. I was bawling like a fucking baby by the end of it.

“The Rise of the New Groupthink” by Susan Cain via the New York Times

It made me really think about the way I prefer to work, and I do relate to the need to be alone to be more productive. Throughout art school, there was an emphasis (which I also encouraged) on collaborating and brainstorming and working in open group spaces. But looking back, I find myself seeing that I was the most productive when I was on my own, but was supported well by converging with groups at various opportune times.

I wrote more, I thought more, and I wasn’t distracted by other bits and pieces floating around my immediate surroundings. And to be honest, I was prouder of the work that came out of those moments, as I wasn’t engaged in premature self-editing and the dangerous spiral of never-ending “what if?” sessions. My voice felt more clear, more sensible, and not distracted and garbled by other noise. Even when working to come up with ideas on campaigns and some strategy work, I found myself offering better suggestions when I’ve had time to sit on my own and look up cats and Gilmore Girls.

I’m really into Gilmore Girls again right now, FYI. I mention this because I’ve always wanted something like Richard Gilmore’s study, where I could be completely immersed in my own shit.

Okay, he looks super sad here, but man, check out that room. It’s totally a man-cave for the rich, white illuminati—but my own desires to become one of these gentlemen is beside the point.

“Studies show that open-plan offices make workers hostile, insecure and distracted. They’re also more likely to suffer from high blood pressure, stress, the flu and exhaustion. And people whose work is interrupted make 50 percent more mistakes and take twice as long to finish it.”

Maybe it’s a weird fear I have of looking like that kid in class who sang to herself and ate paste, but it was always a thing for me to be extroverted and team-oriented.

I guess I always felt a little strange about preferring to be by myself a lot of the time. I’m a bit of an introvert, and maybe some people get thrown off by my candidness and asshole-ishness. But I really love being alone sometimes, especially when I work. I like getting lost in my own shit and then coming out the other side.

What works well for me is the idea of leaving me the hell alone and then letting me check in after a set amount of time. When I worked with Free Agency, it was really important (and helpful) when Tak would say, “Okay, try and do this for about an hour. See where you get and then we can go over it together.” It was a nuanced part of the process, but that invitation or agreement to come out of my shell instead of just barging in after an hour made a huge difference in what I would present or discover.

What that also suggests to me is an inherent trust in my capabilities, as well as what I can accomplish in a set amount of time. Perhaps it is a subconscious thing that I may be over-thinking, but trust has become a rather important value for me to feel in the last little while. The less I felt people trusted me, the more self-conscious I became, and unfortunately, my work reflected this nervous tension. It’s a terrible cycle.

Of course, there are different things being said, and I’m definitely the farthest thing from the next Newton or the next Wozniak, but Cain makes interesting points here, about the work process and where & when collaboration and constant contact cease to be healthy. I never really thought about it before I read this. It feels a little refreshing to chew on this nugget for a little while.

Especially this:

“The ‘evidence from science suggests that business people must be insane to use brainstorming groups,’ wrote the organizational psychologist Adrian Furnham. ‘If you have talented and motivated people, they should be encouraged to work alone when creativity or efficiency is the highest priority.’”

Hmmm…

Art direction and creative led by Free Agency Creative, and web development by Andrew Lindstrom.

“Based on the predictions of the Mayans, 2012 is the last year on record. Make it count by adorning your walls—or fallout shelters—with this beautiful Apocalypse-themed Risograph print.”

Many thanks to Jennifer Griffiths and Cameron McKague for letting me be involved.

Other contributors: Kendyl Lauzon, Michal Baĉák, Klára Šumová, Jared Rhind, Ali Kenefick, Jason Batog, Cameron Benedict, Shauna Mae Leudtke and Dirk Wright.

My contribution was for March:

My favourites were these, by Ali Kenefick and Dirk Wright:

Little thoughts and lists, to-do items and little rants (hey, it was artzchool)—it’s all more descriptive than it first seems. In addition, my penmanship has gone disastrously to hell. I am more than a little bit dismayed.

It was amusing last evening, because I read notes on one of my first main projects at Kaldor, which was incidentally, the first time I had met and worked with Kunal Sen, who has quickly become a good friend. A year and a half later, he’s become one of my go-to bros for brunches and dinner parties.

In it also contains dumb doodles from production meetings and drawings of gnomes and pizza and clouds with faces. It also includes notes I took for an old Emily Carr project, wherein I researched unhappiness and its relationship to the brain and body.

Particularly embarrassing, but not quite, was a quick free-write I did after seeing a particularly poor gallery show at ECU. They come and go, with hits and misses, but somehow this one show—I can’t even remember it anymore—made me super angry about all the bullshit at school. I was very bitter by the end of it, really. I’m not proud of it, but something makes me hang on to these snippets.

Is it important to keep journals like this? I wonder if these thoughts and notes will accumulate into something, much like how old ladies make sweaters out of lint and felt.

So, New Year’s Resolutions—not to be deterred by the fact that I was ready to call it a night at 7:48pm; and that I wasn’t counting down the last ten seconds of 2011, but wolfing down a bowl of late-night black sesame rice balls in a congee restaurant on Main Street that had no business being open on New Year’s Eve.

The clock struck twelve, and our Chinese server started yelling, “Happy New Year!” clanging beer glasses with chopsticks inside an almost-empty restaurant.

To be honest, I’ve had more exciting evenings.

This year felt a little less fancy for me, really. (See intro above.)  Long gone are the nights of drinking into the wee hours and dancing with lesbians. They are now replaced by hanging out with my cat watching the Diva Network.

Maybe one of my resolutions should be to go drinking more often.

Anyway, why is this taking so long to list down?

• Drink more water!
• Eat more greens!
• Be nicer to people I think are assholes but might really not be.
• Get some fucking sunlight/exercise once in a while.
• Learn how to drive (so I can be one of those terrible Asian drivers with N signs).
• Write more shit, be less afraid of my own thoughts.
• Keep in touch with people I sort of like hanging out with.
• Stop talking about my cat. Even though he’s like 100 times more interesting than half of you all.
• Actually listen to people and not just pretend to do so.
• Cook at home more often.
• Read more shit. Like, stuff that isn’t Business Cat. No, wait—! I change my mind!

Will this matter in a few months? Hell if I know. There’s always dozens of items on our lists for Life Improvement, and we’re lucky to cross off a third of that crap each year. Half the garbage on that list has been there since I discovered the mole on the back of my left hand.

To give myself some much needed credit, I’ll throw in some shit I’ve accomplished that might be just as important:

• Got a new job that makes me really excited. (Is my boss reading this?)
• Realized that web dev is not so scary. I built a WordPress theme from scratch! I can do anything!
• Related: found out what a functions.php file in WordPress is for.
• Spent a month in Korea and did not get plastic surgery.
• Visited the Kootneys for the first time and attended a beautiful wedding in Fruitvale.
• Related: realized I really like living in Vancouver.
• Even managed to make a couple more friends this year. (Hope they are not assholes.)
• Learned what a goddamn “power play” means in a hockey game.

Happy New Year, guys.